


Cookie Crumbs

by darkalbino



Category: Naruto
Genre: AU, Anal Sex, Dirty Talk, Humor, M/M, Oral Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-11
Updated: 2014-08-11
Packaged: 2018-02-12 18:20:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2119980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darkalbino/pseuds/darkalbino
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Because the easiest way to a man's heart would be through his stomach.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cookie Crumbs

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written and posted on FF.net: February 10, 2009

Sakura grunted softly as she pulled a cardboard box out of her friend’s car, turning and smiling widely at his new house. “It’s really quite a catch, Naruto. How much did you say Jiraiya sold it for again?”  
  
Naruto smiled back and took the box from her. “I’m telling you, hardly anything! The old pervert practically _gave_ it to me!”  
  
Sakura made a small, pensive noise and tugged at Naruto’s pants. She stuck her hand in his back pocket and pulled out a set of keys, then began walking with him to the front door.  
  
It really was a nice, simple little house; perfect for Naruto. A one-story painted a pale orange with a brown roof and a small window beside the matching brown front door. Besides the color schemes and minor landscape differences, every house on this street looked just about the same.  
  
Sakura stuck the key into the lock and turned. “I do find it a little odd that Jiraiya would be so charitable, don’t you think? I mean, he left the furniture and everything.”  
  
Naruto shrugged and walked past the woman when she opened the door. “Well he _is_ my uncle, Sakura, and he’s been hounding me to get out of that apartment for months now.”  
  
“Really?” Sakura watched Naruto drop the box on the living room couch and went back outside with him. “How come? I liked your apartment.”  
  
Naruto chuckled and took another box out his car labeled ‘Naruto’s Porn Box’. “He said it wasn’t big enough for all the hookers and strippers I should be partying with, being a bachelor and all.”  
  
“Well all your friends and the strippers I hired for your birthday last week would have to disagree with him,” Sakura pointed out, taking out ‘Naruto’s Dishes.’  
  
Naruto shrugged and walked back with her to the house. “If the man wants to give me a free house, I’m not gonna argue with him.” He and Sakura set the boxes on the floor and returned outside to the car, where Naruto shifted through a few of the boxes in his trunk until he gasped and picked up ‘Naruto’s Hoard of Ramen’.  
  
Sakura crossed her arms and raised a pink brow. “Did you take all that from the shop?” she questioned pointedly.  
  
The blond grinned and held his head up. “I own the place, so technically, the ramen is mine already. And if I wanna bring some of _my_ ramen into _my_ new home, why shouldn’t I?”  
  
Sakura rolled her eyes and shook her head with a smile. “Idiot. One day you’re not going to have anything left for the customers.”  
  
Blue eyes flew open and Naruto sent her a nervous glance, realizing that if he kept caving into his addiction, Sakura was going to end up being absolutely right. He held his box closer and tucked his chin into his chest with a pout. “Hey, are you here to scold me or to help me move in?”  
  
Sakura laughed and playfully pushed him to the side, reaching into the car for ‘Naruto’s Bed-Sheets’ and coming back up with a tiny smirk on her lips. “If I don’t keep you in check, _Mr. Bachelor_ , then who will?”  
  
Naruto snorted and grinned. “Don’t know anyone _but_ you who could.”  
  
They both laughed, neither aware of the pair of wide, coal-colored eyes fixed on them from the house next door.  
  


* * *

  
Sakura tried, honest to God, she _tried_ to hold back the laughter as Naruto danced to the blaring music. There were still a lot of things to be unpacked, but the moment Naruto had brought his stereo inside, he deemed it “celebration time” and tuned into some random techno station and started moving to the beat. Her lips quivered upward as she attempted to scowl at him. “Naruto, we’re not – pfft! – we’re not _finished_!”  
  
But with that idiot gyrating in the middle of the room like that - in nothing but jeans and a white undershirt - and whooping repeatedly while waving his shirt around in the air, _not_ laughing proved a very near impossible feat to accomplish.  
  
Naruto wagged his finger at her, his hips still thrusting to the music. “All work and no play makes Sakura go into PMS mode.”  
  
Sakura punched a fist into her left hand. “Subtly calling Sakura a bitch gets Naruto a big, fat bruise on his face,” she sing-songed back.  
  
“Uhh,” Naruto stopped moving and smiled sheepishly at her. “Aha, no need to resort to violence.” He held both hands up in mock surrender and laughed when Sakura grabbed a pillow from the couch and threw it at him.  
  
The sound of a doorbell and four hard knocks locked on their attention.  
  
Sakura tilted her head. “Who in the world could that be?”  
  
Naruto reached over to the stereo and turned it down, then tossed his t-shirt on the couch and started for the door. “Dunno, did Kiba say he was coming?”  
  
Sakura shook her head. “Not that I know of.” She scoffed and snatched Naruto’s shirt up from the couch. “And don’t start tossing your things around, Naruto! You haven’t even moved in yet and you’re already trying to turn the place into a pigsty like your apartment!”  
  
Naruto opened his front door with his head tilted back to Sakura. “Yeah yeah, all right _Mom_.” He turned back and actually did a jaw-drop at the sight before him.  
  
There, on his front-door step, stood not Kiba, oh no, not Kiba at all, but one of the most attractive men Naruto had ever seen in his twenty four years of existence on this earth.  
  
The man in front of him had the physique of a prized athlete, hidden beneath a form fitting, black muscle shirt and blue jeans. He was a couple of inches shorter than Naruto with a slim frame and pale skin. His hair was onyx black with long bangs that framed a chiseled face of sharp features and equally black eyes. And his mouth, a pair of thin, pink lips, was set in a straight line as he stared up at Naruto with his head tilted just the slightest back.  
  
Holy hell…Naruto thought his birthday was _last_ week. He grinned slowly and lifted one arm to lean against his door frame. “Well, hello there.”  
  
The man quirked a fine brow at Naruto’s state of dress and pointed his thumb to the house next door. “My name is Sasuke, I’m your neighbor.”  
  
Naruto’s grin widened at this knowledge. “You don’t say…” He looked the man up and down, a plain leer on his face. “I’m Naruto. So, what can I do you for, Sasuke?” Oh yes, what could he _do him_ for indeed.  
  
Naruto suddenly flinched backward when a red, plastic plate of wrapped cookies was shoved in his face. He blinked twice and glanced from the cookies to Sasuke. “Err…aha,” he pointed to himself, “For me?”  
  
Sasuke gave a derisive snort and started pulling away. “Well if you don’t want them, I’ll just take them back-“  
  
“No no!” Naruto’s hands shot out and grabbed the plate, jerking it away from Sasuke. He smiled and held the cookies up to his nose, inhaling deeply. “Oh damn! Chocolate chip! Fucking awesome!” His eyes flew up to the other man, a flirty smile on his lips. “How did you know these were my favorite?”  
  
Sasuke snorted once more and placed a hand on his hip. “Don’t get your hopes up, moron, I didn’t make them.”  
  
Naruto cocked his head to the side. “You didn’t? But then why – hey wait a minute! Don’t call me that, you bastard!”  
  
“Naruto, who…”  
  
Naruto turned at the voice to find Sakura standing beside him, her mouth in the same “o” that his had been when he first laid eyes on Sasuke. He cleared his throat and held a hand out in front of his neighbor. “Sakura, this is my new neighbor, Sasuke.” He lifted the plate. “He brought cookies.”  
  
Sakura was frantically patting down her hair and pulling the wrinkles out of her skirt. “Did – did he? Oh that’s – that’s so sweet! What a wonderfully kind and thoughtful and absolutely _gorgeo_ –I mean, I mean _generous_ neighbor!”  
  
Sasuke took a step back and leaned away from the two. “Yes…” He turned to Naruto. “I’m sorry, I didn't know your…girlfriend was-“  
  
“She’s not my girlfriend!”  
  
“He’s not my boyfriend!”  
  
Naruto and Sakura both locked eyes momentarily, a spark of electricity flaring between them at the heated stare that most obviously said “back the fuck off.” Then they turned back to Sasuke, their expressions merry as if the moment hadn’t even occurred.  
  
Sakura crossed her arms to make her cleavage more prominent, which caused Naruto to roll his eyes and Sasuke to frown. “I’m just helping Naruto move in, I’m single. Completely. Totally. Single. And looking. Naruto and I, well, you know,” Naruto hissed between gritted teeth as she smacked a hand _hard_ against his back, “A gay man is a girl’s best friend.”  
  
Sasuke smirked and flicked his gaze to Naruto. “Is that so?” he questioned.  
  
Naruto grinned back at him and rolled his shoulder to get Sakura’s hand off. “You know, I’m a bit of a taco man, but I can never say no to a hot dog.” His eyes gleamed. “Especially a long, red one, with maybe a little mayo on top. I’ve gotta be in a special mood for tacos, but I’ve always preferred solid meat.”  
  
Sakura flushed brilliantly and Sasuke crossed his arms over his chest. “Not very subtle, are we? Your innuendos are like finding white on rice.”  
  
Naruto shrugged, still grinning, and Sakura jumped in front of him before he racked any more points with the hot neighbor. “So, uh, Sasuke was it? You baked those cookies? I _love_ a man who knows how to cook.”  
  
Sasuke closed his eyes and turned his head to the side. “Then I’m afraid your affections are about to fall quite drastically because no, I didn't make them. My brother did.”  
  
Naruto’s brow crinkled. “Your brother? Then why didn’t he bring them?”  
  
Sasuke opened his eyes, and Naruto noted that they seemed a shade darker than before. “Because he believes I’m an antisocial party shitter who needs to get out more. So he baked the cookies, shoved them in my face, and asked me please go introduce myself to the new neighbors.”  
  
“Oh…” Naruto frowned for a moment before giving a small smile. “That kind of bums me out; I was hoping _you_ had wanted to come meet me.”  
  
Sasuke held a blue gaze before raising both palms in a nonchalant shrug. “Sorry to disappoint.”  
  
Sakura gave a startled yelp as Naruto tugged her back inside the house and smiled widely at Sasuke. “Well, tell your bro thanks for the cookies. And it was nice meeting you, Sasuke.”  
  
“Hn,” Sasuke shoved his hands in his pockets, turned and walked away while Naruto shut the door.  
  
Sakura and Naruto both whirled to each other. “HE’S **MINE**!”  
  
Naruto growled and waved the plate of cookies around. “What?! Back off, Sakura! He’s _my_ neighbor and he brought _me_ cookies!”  
  
“Only because his brother _forced_ him to!”  
  
“Whatever! He’s still my neighbor, I get priority rights!”  
  
“To hell with priority rights! What even makes you think he’s gay?!”  
  
Naruto waved his arms around frantically. “Did you not _see_ his outfit _or_ the chicken ass that was sticking out from the back of his head?!”  
  
Sakura clenched a fist. “Okay, we are going to settle this the way all great decisions are settled!”  
  
Naruto narrowed his eyes and raised his free hand in a fist as well.  
  
“ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS, **SHOOT**!”  
  
Sakura’s fingers uncurled so her hand made paper.  
  
Two of Naruto’s fingers sprung out to make scissors.  
  
Sakura gasped and scowled as Naruto shot his arm into the air so his fingers made a 'V'. “Hahaha! Victory! The sexy neighbor man is MINE!”  
  
The woman pouted and plopped down on the couch with her arms and legs crossed. Naruto smiled down at her and unwrapped the cookies, picked one up and walked over to his friend and handed it to her. “Consolation prize,” he offered, holding the treat out.  
  
Sakura glanced at him for a few seconds before her lips tilted upward. “Why is it so damn hard to stay mad at you?” She asked while taking the offered cookie.  
  
Naruto chuckled and picked up his own cookie, tapping it against his lips while he spoke, “Because you’re a smart girl, and you realize that life without me would be meaningless.”  
  
Sakura scoffed. “Egotistical much?”  
  
The blond shrugged and bit his cookie.  
  
Sakura held her own by her mouth as she watched Naruto’s eyes widen, his chewing slow drastically until he just stopped all motion. She stiffened. “What?” she asked worriedly, her heart hammering in her chest as Naruto didn’t move, didn’t respond. “Naruto!” She shot up from the couch. “Naruto, what is it?!”  
  
But Naruto just continued to stare out into nothing.  
  
Sakura began hyperventilating and suddenly looked to the cookie in her hand. “Oh my God!” she screamed. “They’re poisoned!”  
  
She was about to toss the deceptively delicious looking cookie onto the ground and call an ambulance when Naruto abruptly spoke, “Holy fucking shit…” His mouth remained opened in shock as he stared at the cookie in his hand. “This…this is the greatest fucking cookie I’ve ever had in my life!” He suddenly shoved the entire thing in his mouth, chewing frantically before he scarfed down another one, his cheeks puffed and full like a squirrel hoarding nuts.  
  
Sakura’s heart slowed down considerably and she yelled at the blond, “Naruto, you goddamn idiot! Don’t scare me like that ever again!”  
  
Naruto, with a mouth full of crushed cookie and sticky chocolate, turned to her. “Sakura you’ve –mm! –you’ve gotta try one!” He exclaimed with his full mouth, swallowing what he had before he continued. “Ah - mmm – dear God, it’s like an orgasm for your mouth!”  
  
Sakura hesitated before taking a tentative bite out of her cookie. And after repeating more or less the same process Naruto went through, she too practically swallowed the treat like a starved animal. ”Oh my God!” she repeated, though this time in joy. “They’re amazing!” The cookie was so warm and chewy and soft, the chocolate flavor bursting the second it touched the tongue. Sakura went so far as to lick the chocolate remnants off her fingertips before spinning to Naruto with wild eyes. “Give me another one!”  
  
Naruto shook his head and hunched over his plate. “Like hell! They’re mine!” He shoved the last two in his mouth, eating them like he was inhaling air.  
  


* * *

  
About a week later, Naruto was pretty much settled into his new home.  
  
It was a Saturday, and the blond was currently standing in front of a bowl of water, which was on the floor and filled half-way and continued to collect droplets that fell from the roof.  
  
Yes, there had been rain this fine Saturday morning, and Naruto had discovered that his living room ceiling had a leak. He’d placed the bowl there as a temporary solution and was trying to recall when Jiraiya had told him about this leak.  
  
Yet, for some strange reason, he couldn’t.  
  
Naruto scowled and crossed his arms. “Probably because that jackass _didn’t tell me_.” This put quite a damper on his mood, so when he heard his doorbell ring, he slouched and uncrossed his arms with a sigh. “ _Coming_ ,” he drawled.  
  
When Naruto opened his door, everything suddenly seemed right with the world once more. The clouds parted, the sun beamed down, and the birds started chirping _Ain’t No Mountain High Enough_.  
  
“Sasuke!” Naruto greeted the man with a thousand-watt smile. He finger-combed his hair hastily and leaned on his door frame. “So uh, whatcha been up to?”  
  
Sasuke was standing upright with both hands behind his back. He smirked up at the blond and brought one hand out, opening his palm. “I came back for my plate.”  
  
Naruto squinted at the hand. “Your…?” He looked up at Sasuke, confused.  
  
Sasuke was wearing a blue jacket and black cargo pants – and damn did he look good – and he rolled his eyes and aimed a light glare at Naruto. “The one the cookies were on?” he explained.  
  
A few more seconds of blank staring and azure eyes suddenly widened. “Oh! Oh right! Yeah! I’ll get it for you, wait right there!” He hurried back inside the house before coming back to Sasuke with the red plate and handing it over to the other man.  
  
Sasuke took the plate and inspected it. “Well,” he smirked at Naruto. “That’s surprising; I wasn’t expecting you to have washed it.”  
  
Naruto raised a brow. “I didn’t…wash it…Was I supposed to?”  
  
Sasuke’s gaze widened a bit in surprise as he flipped the plate over and back in his hand. “There’s not a speck on it.”  
  
“Oh, uh…” Naruto raised a hand and scratched at the back of his head with a sheepish smile. “The cookies were frikin' amazing, dude, and I got a little greedy so my friend…she kinda snatched the plate and then licked it clean when I finished them.”  
  
Sasuke made a little disgusted noise and held the plate between his thumb and forefinger, away from himself with a curled lip.  
  
“Sasuke, is your brother like a chef or something? Because seriously, those cookies were fucking orgasmic.”  
  
Sasuke smiled and put his hand behind his back once more. “Well, if that’s true, then I’m sure you wouldn’t mind accepting these as well.” He pulled out his other hand and handed Naruto a blue plate with wrapped brownies.  
  
Naruto gasped and felt the drool already beginning to collect in his mouth. “Ah – seriously?!” He took the brownies and grinned at Sasuke.  
  
“It would seem Itachi has taken a liking to you.”  
  
“Your brother?”  
  
Sasuke nodded and lifted his plate. “Try washing it with _soap_ this time, not saliva.”  
  
Naruto laughed nervously and smiled. “You got it. So your bro, he really is a chef?”  
  
Sasuke snorted and shook his head. “No, just a big pain in my ass. He should have been named hemorrhoids.” He jerked slightly at the bark of laughter that joke received from Naruto and then gave a small smirk.  
  
Naruto quieted his chuckles and looked from the brownies to Sasuke. “So if Itachi likes me so much, why does he keep sending you to bring me these addictive sweets?”  
  
Sasuke’s smirk fell away to a frown and he turned to his side. “I told you, the asshole wants me to get out more, and he picked you to be my new friend, apparently.”  
  
Naruto rested the brownies against his hip and tilted his head at Sasuke. “Well, the least he could do is come over with you and introduce himself.”  
  
Sasuke turned away completely. “We’re about to inherit our father’s company, so he’s very busy with work right now.”  
  
Naruto’s lips pursed, impressed. “Oooh, are you rich, Sasuke?”  
  
Sasuke shrugged. “I get by.”  
  
Naruto smiled and glanced at the brownies before bringing his attention to Sasuke again. “Hey uh, Sasuke, I wanted to ask you something.”  
  
Sasuke turned his head slightly with a raised brow to look at the blond.  
  
“I uh…I wanted to ask if maybe you wanted to go see a movie sometime? Or get a bite to eat or something?”  
  
Sasuke’s lips pulled down before slowly tilting upward into a wide, arrogant smirk. “Sorry, I don’t date dumbasses.” He began walking away.  
  
Naruto’s jaw dropped and he stomped his foot. “Oh yeah?! Well – well I don’t date _hard_ asses!” He lifted the brownies. “You can take your fucking brow-“ Naruto paused, his tongue recalling the blissful taste of those cookies…If these brownies were half as good…  
  
He quickly hid the brownies behind his back. “WELL I’M KEEPING THE BROWNIES, BASTARD!” He grabbed his door. “AND THE PLATE TOO!” He slammed it shut.  
  
Naruto stomped past his living room and into the kitchen, slamming the plate of brownies onto the table. “No good full-of-himself little bitch. Who the hell does he think he is? No fucking wonder he’s antisocial.”  
  
Naruto dropped into a chair and unwrapped the brownies, picking one up. “I don’t wanna date his ass anyway, the little shit. He wouldn’t be able to handle my dick and that ice pole up his ass at the same time.”  
  
Naruto bit into the brownie. He began to chew, and dear Lord, he didn’t think it was possible, but the brownies were actually _better_ than the damn cookies. “Mmmm.” His eyes rolled back slightly before coming back into place and the angry wrinkle that had set on his brow slowly began to ease out its creases.  
  
In two more bites, the brownie was gone, and Naruto moaned softly before picking up another one. “On second thought," he said out loud, flipping the brownie in his hand, “I shouldn’t give up so fast. I mean he’s hot as hell, and I guess it’s good that he’s not easy.”  
  
He bit into the moist chocolate, and it practically melted on his tongue. “Mmm, I’ll get you on a date, Sasuke. Or at the very least,” he pressed the last of the brownie into his mouth, “I’ll get into your pants.”  
  


* * *

  
“We thank you so much for your patronage and hope that you take pleasure in your meal and come back very soon! Please! Enjoy your youthful spirit to the fullest and never allow the fire of your soul to-”  
  
“LEE!” Ino snatched her ramen from the employee’s hands and slammed it down on the table. “I come here _every day_ and _every day_ you give me the same damn speech! My youthful spirit is FINE, for God’s sake, let it go!”  
  
The smile on Lee’s face did not falter. “I am very sorry Ino, but Naruto has said that every customer must be treated with equal respect, and that does include the same greetings and thanks that-“  
  
“I think we can make an exception here, Fuzzybrows.” Naruto came up and slung an arm around his round-eyed friend.  
  
Ino smiled up at the blond with relief. “Are you leaving early today, Naruto?”  
  
Naruto nodded, keeping his arm around Lee as he looked up in thought. “I’ve gotta go talk to Kiba about that leak in my living room. You can handle things around here while I’m gone, right Fuzzybrows?”  
  
Lee beat a fist to his chest. “Certainly! You can count on me, Naruto! I possess the springtime energy that fills the soul-“  
  
Naruto patted his shoulder. “Yeah, yeah, that’s great buddy. I’ll leave it to you.” He turned to his other friend and tipped his head. “Ino, hope you like the meal.”  
  
Ino lifted her chopsticks with a smile. “Always do.” She gave Naruto a salute as the blond left from Lee’s side and walked out the door.  
  


* * *

  
When Naruto got outside and started walking down the sidewalk, you could imagine his delight at not having walked ten steps before he saw his very stuck up and ridiculously attractive neighbor walking towards him from the opposite direction. “Hey! Hey Sasuke!” He weaved around people and ran up to him.  
  
Sasuke stiffened at his name and looked up, setting eyes on Naruto running right toward him. Sasuke tightened his hold on the grocery bag in his hand and stepped back a bit when Naruto halted to a stop right in front of him.  
  
Naruto fanned out his white, button up shirt and smiled at the other man. “Hey, what’s up?”  
  
Sasuke looked the blond up and down, noting the white shirt and black slacks. “Lose a bet?” he teased.  
  
Naruto blinked and glanced over himself, then waved a dismissive hand in the air. “The clothes? Naw man, it’s my uniform.“ He hooked a thumb over his shoulder. “I own the ramen place down there.”  
  
Sasuke peered over Naruto to the direction he pointed. “The Fox? _You_ own The Fox?”  
  
Naruto nodded emphatically, hoping his private business might impress Sasuke.  
  
The dark-eyed man smirked and looked to the slightly taller blond. “Now what the hell do foxes have to do with ramen, moron?”  
  
Naruto flinched. He felt anger bubble up inside of him but bit it back down behind a wide, shit-eating grin. “I own the place. I like foxes and I like ramen, _that’s_ what the hell they have to do with each other, bastard.”  
  
Sasuke sniffed and turned away from the other man. “I thought you were mad at me?”  
  
Naruto snorted. “Now that’s just stupid. If I can pay you back insult for insult, then why would I be mad?”  
  
Sasuke turned back to him with a half-smile. “I haven’t gotten my plate back yet.”  
  
“You haven’t come by with more delicious treats to get it from me. Your brother’s been slacking, huh?”  
  
Sasuke’s lips pulled into a deep frown and he moved past Naruto. “I’m leaving now, idiot.”  
  
Naruto gaped and smacked his forehead, then turned and grabbed Sasuke’s arm, the one holding the grocery bag, but Sasuke was quick to snatch it back from him. “What is it?” he snapped.  
  
“We never went out for that bite to eat,” Naruto said.  
  
Sasuke quirked a brow and cocked his head so his bangs fell across his face. “Yes, that’s because I clearly rejected the invitation.”  
  
“Well,” Naruto crossed his arms defiantly, “I reject your rejection, Sasuke.”  
  
“Oh, really?”  
  
“Uh-huh.”  
  
Sasuke clicked his tongue and chuckled as he started walking away again, but Naruto suddenly jumped in front of him and blocked his path. Sasuke scowled and glared up at him. “You're becoming exponentially annoying today, dumbass. I need to get home.”  
  
Naruto glanced down at the plastic bag in Sasuke’s hand. “Went grocery shopping, asshole?”  
  
“Yes. And I need. To get. Home.”  
  
Naruto nodded and grinned down at the smaller man. “Mhm, truth or dare, Sasuke?”  
  
“What?”  
  
“Truth or dare, c’mon, pick one.”  
  
Sasuke stared blankly at him for a second or two before shaking his head in disbelief. “I don’t have time for this.” He side-stepped Naruto but the blond followed his movements.  
  
“C’mon Sasuke, pick one and I’ll let you through.”  
  
Sasuke exhaled in frustration and glowered at him. “…All right…truth…”  
  
“Tell me what’s in the bag.”  
  
The lightest of blushes stained Sasuke’s cheeks and he quickly changed his choice, “Dare, I pick dare.”  
  
Naruto’s brows went up in surprise and he glanced curiously at the bag, but then flicked his gaze back to Sasuke with a grin. “In that case, I dare you to come eat with me at my restaurant.” He pointed to the ground. “Right now.”  
  
Sasuke rolled his eyes and shoved Naruto to the side. “I’m out of here.”  
  
Naruto stumbled a bit from the push and grabbed Sasuke’s arm before he got too far.  
  
Sasuke grunted and tried to jerk away from the other man. “Goddamnit, Naruto! Let go-“  
  
“FOR THE LAST TIME, SASUKE, I WILL SUCK YOUR DICK WHEN WE GET HOME!”  
  
Sasuke’s eyes went impossibly wide as he frantically looked around themselves at all the people who had paused in whatever they were doing to stare in shock at the duo. Sasuke set his jaw and tugged his arm in so Naruto was pressed against him. “Idiot! Shut the fuck up! Don’t say shit like that!” he whispered harshly.  
  
“Come eat with me,” Naruto demanded.  
  
“No!”  
  
Naruto pouted and abruptly opened his mouth. “NO SASUKE, I WILL **NOT** SCRATCH YOUR BALLS IN PUBLIC!”  
  
Sasuke fisted Naruto’s shirt in both hands and wrenched him forward. “Stop it, damn it!” He felt heat burn up his throat as more people stopped and looked wide-eyed at the pair, specifically the shouting blond.  
  
“CHRIST SASUKE, I CANNOT GIVE YOU A RIM JOB RIG-“  
  
A pale hand clamped over Naruto’s mouth, Sasuke staring angrily at him. “Okay, fuck, I’ll go!” He hissed, “Just shut the hell up!”  
  
Naruto smiled beneath the fingers and pulled them off, tugging a reluctant Sasuke along with him as he made his way back to his shop.  
  


* * *

  
Naruto led Sasuke past all the tables to the register counter.  
  
Sasuke’s brow furrowed. “Well hell, Naruto, **I** could’ve gotten take out without you dragging me here.”  
  
Naruto looked back at the brunet and shook his head. “Special room, not take out.”  
  
Sasuke gasped softly as Naruto yanked him through the counter after pushing the door out of their way. “What do you mean ‘special room’?”  
  
Naruto waved at his cooks as he pulled Sasuke through the kitchen and eventually past a swinging door, bringing him at last into a dimly lit backroom with a small round table in the middle. There were two chairs and a flower vase in the middle, though no flowers.  
  
Sasuke’s brow crumpled at the scene and he turned to Naruto. “Bring your victims back here, do you?”  
  
“Nope.” Naruto yanked Sasuke and pushed him down into a chair, then placed his hands on his hips. “Just my special dates.”  
  
Sasuke scowled and held his grocery bag in a tight grip between his legs. “This _isn’t_ a date.”  
  
Naruto grinned down at him and chuckled. “Course not; this is just a sharing of meals between two friends.”  
  
“And since when are we friends?”  
  
“Well you said so yourself, didn’t you? That your brother apparently wanted me to be your new friend?”  
  
“Hn...”  
  
Naruto laughed and patted Sasuke’s cheek twice. “Such an unfriendly prick.” The other man snorted and smacked his hand away.  
  
Naruto stood back and smiled. “I’ll be right back, don’t move.” He turned around and walked out the door.  
  
The second Naruto was out, Sasuke hurriedly looked inside his bag and bit his lip with a glower. “Moron…it’s going to get warm if I don’t get home soon…” He readjusted the items and nearly jumped out of his seat when the door swung open again and Naruto came in with two steaming bowls of ramen. Sasuke shoved the bag under his chair and frowned as Naruto placed one bowl in front of him. The brunet pursed his lips slightly and watched Naruto take a seat across from him.  
  
The blond handed Sasuke a pair of chopsticks. But when Sasuke made no move to grab them, he raised a brow and slowly drew his hand back. “I…can get you a fork?”  
  
Sasuke shook his head and stared at the other man. “I just don’t…particularly care for ramen," he confessed.  
  
Naruto blinked and suddenly let loose a fit of chuckles. “Well that may be, Sasuke, but you’ve never tried _my_ ramen.”  
  
Sasuke scoffed. “I’m sorry, are your noodles somehow more special from everyone else’s?”  
  
The corners of Naruto’s lips gradually spread to his cheeks. “Now _why_ did that sentence sound so dirty?”  
  
Sasuke rolled his eyes and stood up.  
  
Naruto flinched. “Okay sorry! Wait wait wait!” He fumbled across the table for Sasuke’s hand, nearly knocking the vase over. “Sit down – sit –“ he grabbed a pale hand and tugged Sasuke back into the seat, “down! Okay? It was just a joke, jeez…”  
  
“Was it?” Sasuke demanded, clearly not believing him.  
  
“Yes, sorry.” He picked up the chopsticks again and held them out. “You’ll love it, it’s got pork!”  
  
“I don’t like pork,” Sasuke complained while taking the sticks and breaking them apart.  
  
“Stop being such a dick and just try the damn thing!”  
  
Sasuke huffed, having half a mind to stab the idiot in the eye with one of his chopsticks for speaking to him that way. But instead, he chose the less confrontational route and slowly picked up a clump of noodles as he leaned over the bowl, eyes fixed on Naruto who watched his every move as he swallowed his own bowl like he was afraid someone was going to steal it from him.  
  
Sasuke scrunched his nose up a bit as he pressed the noodles to his lips, the broth smearing against them, making them gleam and causing Naruto to pause in the inhalation of his food.  
  
Naruto stared in awe as Sasuke opened his mouth to a little black hole and the noodles disappeared inside of it, captured and surrounded by shiny, pink lips. He continued his gawking as Sasuke remained still momentarily, his eyes widening the slightest bit. Another moment and they returned to their narrow state, and he leisurely chewed and swallowed his food, licking his lips when he finished.  
  
Naruto felt his pants tighten uncomfortably when that tongue retreated back inside Sasuke’s mouth, and he cleared his throat before speaking, “Now c’mon, _tell_ me that isn’t the most amazing thing you’ve ever tasted, besides maybe your brother’s bakery.”  
  
Sasuke watched him with a small frown for a few moments, then dipped his chopsticks into the noodles again and answered his neighbor. “It isn’t terrible.”  
  
A disbelieving laugh jumped from Naruto’s throat as he leaned back in his chair and stared at Sasuke. What the hell kind of answer was that? Lousy know-it-all priss. “My God, you’re difficult,” Naruto muttered.  
  
Sasuke shrugged. “Life’s full of disappointment, get used to it.” He let go of his chopsticks and stood up.  
  
Naruto started and shot up as well. “Hey! Where the hell do you think you’re going?! The dare was to eat with me!”  
  
“I believe the words used were ‘a bite to eat’, not a three course meal. I’ve had a bite, so I’ve held up my end.” Sasuke reached under his chair and pulled out his grocery bag.  
  
Naruto put up a heavy pout. “But…but-“  
  
“Not that I haven’t enjoyed this spontaneous and absolute waste of time but,” Sasuke put his face right into Naruto’s with narrowed eyes. “I really need to get home.”  
  
With Sasuke’s face so utterly close, time seemed to suddenly stand still for Naruto. He could hear the most minute sounds, like that of the clock ticking somewhere in the background of the room or the “thump thump thump” of his heart against his chest as Sasuke’s breath teased over his lips when he spoke.  
  
Naruto held Sasuke’s narrow, black gaze and a sweat broke out over every inch of his body, each part becoming fully aware of just how close Sasuke was and sending a pleasant shudder racing down his spine.  
  
Naruto swallowed nervously, recalling less than a handful of times when just someone’s nearness to himself had caused his breath to stutter and his nerves to light a fire.  
  
He might be a stuck-up, prickly, I’m-better-than-you bastard with only his looks and money going for him but...Naruto couldn’t deny that he was really inexplicably _attracted_ to this man.  
  
Sasuke’s eyes flickered over the quiet blond before he murmured a “See you” and turned away from him.  
  
Naruto gasped and quickly reached out, grabbing Sasuke by his shirt sleeve and yanking him back. “Wait,” Naruto ordered as he loomed over the slightly smaller man, his lips tilting upward slightly. His fingers tightened on the fabric before sliding down with a deft touch and wrapping around Sasuke’s elbow, pulling at him gently as he pressed his forehead to Sasuke’s. “Just wait a minute,” he whispered.  
  
Sasuke stood frozen for a moment, then abruptly jerked his arm in so Naruto was pressed tightly against him, Sasuke’s lips feathering over a tan jaw.  
  
Naruto felt his face flame at the contact, his palms began to sweat, and he turned to press his mouth against Sasuke’s cheek in a soft kiss. He felt Sasuke stiffen and relax under him, his lips trailing down the sharp cheekbone until they touched the corner of Sasuke’s.  
  
Their breathing had picked up, and Sasuke turned his head slightly so their mouths aligned, their mingling breaths heating the air between them.  
  
Naruto tightened his hold on him. “Sasuke,” he sighed, pressing his lips against the other.  
  
Just before the gap was completely closed, the door swung open.   
  
“Naruto! I was not aware that you had returned!”  
  
Sasuke tore away from Naruto like he had been burned, panting slightly, and Naruto was glaring at Lee like he was trying to burn a hole through the man’s head. “LEE!” He hollered.  
  
Lee shifted glances between both men and gasped in horror. “Did I interrupt a passionate moment of youthful love between two joyful-“  
  
“YES!” Naruto shouted.  
  
“No, I was just leaving.”  
  
Naruto stiffened and turned to Sasuke. “But - but Sasuke…” he trailed off as he watched the man quickly move around Lee and out the door.  
  
Lee frowned at the swinging door and looked to his friend. “I am very sorry, Naruto.”  
  
Naruto sighed heavily and rested a hand on the table, the other carding through his hair. “No, it’s okay…he was in a rush to leave anyway. Sorry I yelled.”  
  
Lee grinned and gave him a thumbs up. “So who was this youthful lover?”  
  
Naruto’s eyes flitted over the ground before he looked up with a smile. He moved forward and walked past Lee, pushing the door open, then looked back at him. “Not my lover yet, just my neighbor who brings me orgasms on plates.”  
  
Lee pumped a fist in the air, flames dancing in his eyes. “Ahh, lovers’ innuendos! The joys of sunsets and summers are-“  
  
Naruto sweat-dropped. “Yeah, okay Lee, back to work now.”

* * *

A vivid image of the near kiss with Sasuke played again and again in Naruto’s mind, distracting him from his current task of brushing his teeth.  
  
Naruto stared at himself in the mirror, his hand holding his toothbrush limply in his mouth as foam dribbled down his chin. He pulled his toothbrush out and spat in the sink, placing it in its holder and grabbing the cup beside it. Naruto turned on the faucet, filled, drank and spat. “Maybe I should take his plate back so I can see him,” he murmured thoughtfully, wiping his mouth against his shoulder as he put the cup back in its place.  
  
It was while doing this that Naruto accidentally knocked over the toothbrush holder so it fell and clattered onto the floor beneath the sink. “Damn it.” Naruto got on his knees and reached for the thing, grabbing it and looking up.  
  
He froze, eyebrows furrowing. “What the…hell?” Naruto squinted at the wall that the sink was attached to, the part of it that was around the sink to be precise. It was…black… _really_ black. Naruto frowned deeply and placed his fingertips along the wall, tracing the black path and curling his lip at the feel of it. He brought his hand back and shook it, as if to get the feeling off. “The fuck is that shit?”  
  


* * *

  
“That, blondie, is a serious case of mold,” Kiba declared, sitting back on his haunches after examining the black wall around the sink.  
  
Naruto blanched. “ _Mold_?”  
  
Kiba nodded. “Yup.”  
  
Naruto scoffed in disbelief and looked pointedly at Kiba, gesturing to the mold. “Well, do your stuff, get rid of it.”  
  
Kiba stood up with his hands spread out. “Look Naruto, I’m a handyman at best, but I don’t know shit about fumigation. You’d have to call a professional.”  
  
Naruto threw his arm out and smacked it against his leg with a set jaw, shaking his head. “I don’t believe this shit.” He looked to Kiba. “Can you at least tell me what the hell caused it?”  
  
Kiba scratched his chin thoughtfully, glancing up. “Well…if I had to take a guess…” He lowered his hand and walked to the toilet. “In an old house like this, the pipes are probably all connected…so that means every time water is used…” Kiba lifted his hand and flushed the toilet.  
  
Naruto raised a brow as Kiba went back below the sink. “If the water is used…?”  
  
“It could be going through here as well.” Kiba placed his fingertips along the wall, smiling when the area turned damp. “Yeah, I’d say that’s the problem.”  
  
Naruto crossed his arms. “But how do I-“  
  
 _Gurgle gurgle gloop._  
  
Both men turned to the shower where the odd noise had come from, and Naruto uncrossed his arms, worry etched in his features. “What…was that?”  
  
Kiba blinked and stood up, walking over to the shower and pulling the curtains back. Almost instantly, his hand flew up to his nose and he jumped back. “Ah shit!”  
  
Naruto started violently. “What? What Kiba?!”  
  
Kiba coughed and waved a hand in front of his nose. “Well…I did say the pipes were connected…”  
  
Naruto frowned. “What do you mean?” He came up beside Kiba and his hand also flew up to his nose. “Dear God, what is that smell?!” He looked inside the shower and found clumps of brown bubbling up from the drain. “What the…”  
  
Kiba coughed again and turned away from the shower. “When I flushed the toilet-“  
  
“Are kidding me damn it?! Are you _fucking_ kidding me?! What the **fuck**?! You are **not** fucking telling me that there is fucking _feces_ coming out of my shower drain! You are not telling me that is **shit** , Kiba!”  
  
“Afraid so.”  
  
“Well it never threw up shit when **I** flushed it, why the fuck did it do it now?!”  
  
Kiba’s eyes were starting to water. “God…if you have a snake I can probably fix it.”  
  
“The fuck? I hate snakes! You know that! Why the hell would I have a-“  
  
“Not that kind of snake, you idiot!”  
  
Naruto paused, his hand still over his mouth and nose. “…If you’re talking about my dick or something I don’t see how that’s going to help-“  
  
“No! Fucking moron! A snake is a tool that you use to unclog toilets!”  
  
Naruto threw his free hand up in frustration. “If I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about then obviously I don’t have one!”  
  
Kiba rolled his eyes and started shoving Naruto out of the bathroom, then closed the door when they were in the blond’s bedroom. He took a deep breath and wiped his nose, Naruto doing more or less the same beside him. “Well my snake is at home, I could bring it by tomorrow. But until then…” He glanced at the bathroom, then at Naruto. “I don’t think you wanna spend the night in a shit house.”  
  
Naruto snorted and clenched his fists. “I think I’m starting to figure out why that old bastard sold this place to me so cheap.”  
  
Kiba chuckled quietly and stood up straight. “You could sleep over at my place, if you want.”  
  
Naruto nodded. “Yeah, that’d be…” He stopped, eyes widening slightly.  
  
Kiba raised a brow. “That’d be…good?”  
  
After a few moments of silence, Naruto suddenly smiled brightly at him. “No, that’s all right man.” He crossed his arms and looked to his side. “I’ve already got someplace to crash, someplace _much_ closer.”  
  


* * *

  
Sasuke leaned against his kitchen counter as he stirred the chocolate chips in with the dough using an egg beater, the smell of the cookies already baking in the oven wafting around him.  
  
His eyes seemed unfocused and distracted as his thoughts kept trailing back to his neighbor. He couldn’t believe how flustered and…not in control Naruto made him feel every time he was around the blond idiot. He’d felt drawn to him ever since first laying eyes on him through his window the day he’d moved in, the one with that desperate pink-haired woman. Sasuke had had such an itch to talk to the attractive man, that he’d baked him cookies and used it as an excuse to go meet him only hours after discovering he even existed.  
  
And he’d felt so much pride well up when Naruto admitted to loving his baking, that he’d decided to treat the big moron every once in a while under the guise of “my brother is making me do it.”  
  
Sasuke was wearing a thin, long sleeved black sweater with dark blue boxers and…an apron. A white apron that looped over his neck and tied behind his back, coming down to his knees with the Uchiha family crest, bold and big, smack on the front right below the heart that adorned the entire chest area.  
  
It had been a gift from his mother when that no good cock-smasher of a brother Itachi let Sasuke’s little baking hobby slip at dinner one time. He hated the damn thing but he loved his mother, and God forbid she should drop by one day unexpectedly and catch him baking without her gift that she put so much love and hard work into making for him.  
  
Sasuke sighed and turned his gaze to the open milk jug beside him and the butter on the counter. “That other day was too close,” he muttered, recalling his and Naruto’s “not date.” His bag had been filled with ingredients for his cookies; including the milk and butter that dumbass had kept him from refrigerating for about an hour. “Idiot, if you want your damn ‘orgasmic cookies’ to be edible, don’t keep me from refrigerating the fucking milk.” He paused in his mixing and put the bowl down, turning and placing his hands on the counter with a quiet sigh.  
  
He’d never planned on revealing his affections for Naruto; that moment in the shop was an inexcusable screw up. It was painfully obvious that Naruto felt for him too, but it had been quite some time since Sasuke’s last relationship, and he would admit to himself that he was a bit apprehensive about starting a new one after so much time.  
  
Sasuke’s thoughts were interrupted when he sniffed lightly and caught the smell of something burning. He raised a confused brow momentarily before his eyes widened. “Shit!” Sasuke spun to the oven and quickly turned all the knobs off. “Shit shit shit!” He’d been too distracted and forgotten about the cookies already baking.  
  
KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!  
  
Sasuke flinched. “Are you fucking serious?” He hesitated, eyes shifting between the cookies and the front door outside the kitchen before he bent down in front of the oven and pulled it open. A little plume of smoke seeped out and he coughed.  
  
KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!  
  
“Shut the fuck up, I’m coming!” Sasuke hollered, hands darting out to grab to cookie tray, though they immediately came back with a hiss and a curse, making him realize he’d forgotten the gloves.  
  
KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!  
  
“Fuck!” Sasuke shot up and shook his hands to ease the burn, accidentally knocking over the milk on the counter and it spilled all over the floor. “FUCK!”  
  
KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!  
  
“I will fucking **_kill_** you if you don’t stop, goddamnit!” Sasuke yelled back at the door. He put his hands under his apron and used it to grab the tray, taking out the little burnt circles and throwing the tray onto the counter where the milk was before it fell.  
  
KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!  
  
Sasuke gave an exasperated roll of his eyes as he slammed the oven shut. Whoever was at the fucking door better pray that Sasuke trips on his way there and gets hit by something hard enough to knock him unconscious, because that was the only way they were leaving his doorstep alive.  
  
Sasuke stormed rather violently to the door, jerking it open with a murderous snarl. “WHAT?!”  
  
Naruto flinched at the outburst, then smiled. “Evening, bastard.”  
  
Sasuke froze completely, his heart skipping a beat as all his anger and frustration was shattered by surprise. “Naruto?” He blinked and crumpled his brow. “What are you doing here?”  
  
“Well I was wondering if I could…” Naruto trailed off, mouth hanging open.  
  
Sasuke raised a brow. “If you could what?”  
  
“If…” Naruto bit his lip and looked up at Sasuke, his mouth spreading into a wide smile. “Sasuke, what…” He snorted a laugh and covered his mouth, looking the other man up and down. “Sasuke, what the hell are you _wearing_?”  
  
Sasuke squinted in misunderstanding and looked down at himself.  
  
His cheeks _flamed_. How the fuck could he forget that he was nearly half-naked under a fucking _apron_?! He growled and tried to shut the door but Naruto stuck his foot in. “I’m sorry –pft! –I’m sorry, Sasuke! Come on! I wasn’t expecting you to be in a frikin' apron! You can’t expect me not to laugh a little!”  
  
Sasuke, face still red as a tomato, rammed his shoulder into the door in an effort to crush Naruto’s foot between the door and its frame. “Get out!”  
  
Naruto grunted and pushed against the door. “Oh c’mon, Sasuke! I need a place to stay for the night! My house smells like a fucking farm, there’s shit all over the bathroom floor!”  
  
Sasuke paused and curled his lip in sheer disgust. “What are you going on about?”  
  
Naruto used his let up to shove the door in and hurry inside, grinning at the dumbfounded Uchiha who composed himself and glared at the blond. He stuck his hands into the pockets of his beige shorts and explained, “There’s some plumbing problem at my house and Kiba can’t fix it until tomorrow. So I need a place to sleep for the night and I figured with us being friends and all, you’d help a neighbor out?”  
  
Sasuke denied the urge to wring the edge of his apron to ease the nervous flutter in his stomach. “You can’t stay here.” He gestured to the door. “Now go, you have plenty of friends who you can stay with other than me.”  
  
Naruto smiled at him. “So you’re admitting that we’re friends?”  
  
Sasuke was about to protest, but realized exactly what he had said and decided that he could not win that argument. “Just…get out, please.”  
  
Naruto frowned in disappointment, about to press further for Sasuke’s approval when the scent of what was unmistakably cookies filled his nostrils. “Hey…” His smile came back. “Is that smell what I think it is?”  
  
Sasuke blanched and reached for Naruto, intent on dragging him out of the house.  
  
Naruto moved out of his reach and smiled at the other man. “It is! I smell cookies, Sasuke! That must mean your brother’s home! I can meet him!”  
  
Sasuke’s heart began pounding frantically against his rib-cage. He was so busted. “Itachi’s not home. He’s…working late.” Well that lie could buy him a few hours at least.  
  
Naruto raised his brows with a puzzled expression. “Then who’s baking?”  
  
Sasuke stood still for a moment, his mind scrambling for an excuse. He suddenly snorted and grabbed Naruto’s hand, tugged him into the kitchen.  
  
Naruto frowned at the spilt milk on the floor and the burnt cookies on the counter. “Uh…did you pick a fight with the kitchen?”  
  
“Since Itachi is working late tonight, he asked me to prepare more cookies for you for tomorrow because he couldn’t do it himself. And as you can see,” he swept a hand over the mess, “I’m not quite cut out for the job.”  
  
Naruto made a curious noise as Sasuke released his hand and grabbed a rag off a counter, getting down on the floor and using it to soak up the milk. He wondered if Sasuke knew that he was giving the blond a perfect view of his ass clad in those boxers, and that that sexy little apron was sending most of his blood racing down south.  
  
Naruto shook his head to disperse the impure thoughts. “You know, for a guy who claims to like me so much, your bro’s got a pretty weird way of showing it. He’s never even tried to meet me.”  
  
Sasuke stopped his mopping and shrugged, not looking at the other man. He stood up and tossed the rag in the sink. “I don’t spend my time trying to decipher my brother’s intentions. He can do what he likes.” He picked up the empty jug of milk on the floor and threw it into the garbage, turning to find Naruto staring quite intently at him, his arms crossed.  
  
Sasuke narrowed his eyes. “What?”  
  
Naruto shifted his weight to one foot and lolled his head to the side. “Why don’t you take a crack at it, Sasuke? Why do you think your brother hasn’t tried harder to meet me?” Naruto wasn’t so much of an idiot as everyone thought he was, there was something Sasuke wasn’t telling him.  
  
“How should I know?”  
  
“You’re his brother.”  
  
“Why should I care why he hasn’t?”  
  
“Just take a guess.”  
  
Sasuke scowled and remained defiantly silent for a few minutes. But when Naruto began tapping his foot, making it clear he wasn’t letting up on this, Sasuke gave a frustrated sigh and opened his mouth. “If I had to guess, I’d say it’s because…” He closed his eyes and turned his head to the side, “Because he’s…nervous, because he’s not in control of how he feels.” He opened his eyes and locked on Naruto. “Or something like that. Satisfied?”  
  
Naruto’s foot stopped moving, and he held Sasuke’s stare, pondering his words.  
  
And suddenly, something in Naruto’s mind clicked. Like the pieces of a puzzle, everything fell beautifully into place. His lips spread out at a maddeningly slow pace until he was grinning at Sasuke like the Cheshire Cat at unsuspecting little Alice. “That’s interesting…wanna hear what I think?”  
  
Sasuke turned away from him and picked up the tray of burnt cookies. “Not particularly.” He walked to the trash can and dumped the cookies inside.  
  
Naruto uncrossed his arms, watching Sasuke place the tray in the sink and walk back to lean against the counter. “You know Sasuke, I graduated from University.” He took two steps forward. “I own my own business.” He took another few steps and Sasuke rolled his eyes and turned around, crossing his arms and staring at the cupboard.  
  
Naruto chuckled. “I make a pretty decent amount of money. I have a ton of really good friends, and I always, _always_ , Sasuke, figure out how to get what I want. “  
  
He stopped right behind Sasuke, and the smaller man gasped when Naruto pressed flush against him from behind. Naruto grabbed Sasuke’s arms and forced his hands down on the counter, then placed his lips at a pale ear. “Despite that I may behave like an immature twelve year old, I’m actually pretty damn smart. And I’ve developed a little theory about this situation we have here.”  
  
Sasuke felt his stomach flip, his ears pound with the deafening beats of his own heart. He let out a breathy chuckle. “Is that so, idiot? Then please, _enlighten_ me.”  
  
Naruto leaned closer and brushed his lips along Sasuke’s throat, leaving them pressed against his fluttering pulse. “Your brother is never home because you have no brother.” He whispered, “Or at the very least, he doesn’t live with you.” He kissed the skin beneath his lips and felt Sasuke shudder at the touch.  
  
“The reasons you gave for him not wanting to meet me? They were really yours. I don’t give a damn _what_ you showed me tonight, because I’m convinced _you’ve_ been baking me all those yummy little treats,” Naruto murmured, licking his lips before he continued. “Why? Because you’re not the type to take orders lightly, and even if you caved in the first time, the second time your brother ‘asked’ you to bring me something, you wouldn’t have listened. You _wanted_ to give them to me; therefore, you must have made them especially for me.”  
  
Sasuke grit his teeth, tensing when Naruto’s thumbs began circling over the top of his hands. “And if that weren’t enough, there’s also that bag you were trying to hide the other day. I’d be willing to bet my dick that you had baking ingredients in it that you didn’t want me to see.”  
  
One of Naruto’s hands slid down and grabbed at the apron, twisting the fabric in his fingers and pulling up. “That would also explain _this_. Why would you own this if you don’t bake?”  
  
“It was a gift from my mother.”  
  
“Why would your mother give this to you if you didn’t bake?”  
  
Sasuke scoffed and hung his head so his bangs shadowed his eyes, a small smirk on his lips.  
  
The idiot had figured it all out.  
  
Naruto pushed forward, pinning Sasuke against the counter with his own body. “Well?” he demanded.  
  
Sasuke chuckled under his breath. “What do you want me to say, Naruto? That you’re right? Okay, you’re right. Whoop-dee-fucking-do.” He turned his head so his mouth met Naruto’s. He spoke softly, a challenging tint in his words, “Now what?”  
  
Sasuke felt Naruto’s chest pressing into his back and letting up repeatedly as his breathing picked up, fanning over Sasuke’s lips. Then without warning, it wasn’t breath on his lips anymore, it was lips on his lips. Naruto had closed the distance, pushed his mouth over Sasuke’s in a deep kiss, his hand coming up to cradle Sasuke’s jaw as blue eyes slipped shut.  
  
Sasuke moaned into the kiss, reaching up to tangle his fingers through Naruto’s hair and pull him closer.  
  
Naruto tugged at Sasuke with the hold he had on his apron and broke the kiss abruptly, licking his lips and burying his face into Sasuke’s throat, dropping more kisses over the smooth flesh. “I want you,” he breathed.  
  
Sasuke’s head lolled. “Don’t tell me, moron.” He hunched forward, pulling the blond down with him. “ _Show_ me.”  
  
Naruto groaned and started kissing down the nape of Sasuke’s neck, gasping sharply when Sasuke suddenly spun around and started fumbling with Naruto’s shorts. He popped the button and yanked the zipper down, shoving the bottoms away and biting his lip as Naruto stepped out of them and kicked them to the side.  
  
Naruto dipped his fingers into his boxers and slid them off as well, then looked up to find Sasuke reaching behind for the tie on his apron. Naruto flinched and quickly grabbed Sasuke’s hands, yanking them forward. “No…leave it on,” he ordered with a small smile.  
  
Sasuke blinked at him and smirked. “Didn’t know idiots were so kinky.”  
  
Naruto smacked him on the shoulder playfully and leaned down to catch his lips in another kiss. He closed his mouth over Sasuke’s bottom lip and sucked softly, then released it and repeated the process with the top lip.  
  
Sasuke growled quietly and dipped his tongue into the moist heat of Naruto’s mouth, flattening the muscle over Naruto’s tongue, earning a loud moan. He smiled and circled Naruto’s tongue with his own, one of his hands lowering and wrapping around the blond’s swelling cock.  
  
Naruto stiffened and mewled under Sasuke’s touch, tilting his head to allow him better access and thrusting shallowly into his hand. Sasuke’s hips began rocking forward as his own erection rose to life, his hand beginning a slow back and forth motion over Naruto’s shaft as a trail of drool escaped their kiss and dribbled down his chin. Naruto bit back a pleading whine and gripped Sasuke’s hair, breaking from the kiss and staring down at Sasuke’s hand working steadily over his manhood.  
  
Without letting go of Naruto, Sasuke stepped forward and shoved him back into the wall. He kept his eyes on Naruto’s face as he unhurriedly lowered to his knees, his hand never once stopping.  
  
Naruto was panting harshly, his hips bucking with little control. He chewed his lip when Sasuke removed his hand and his dick disappeared inside the other man’s mouth. “Sasuke!” ripped from his throat as he was encased in that impossibly wet and pleasurable heat. His head slammed against the wall, fingers curling into Sasuke’s hair as his head began to bob, a skillful tongue laving along the vein that pulsed down his member.  
  
Sasuke groaned around Naruto’s cock and sucked harder, moved faster as one hand came up to wrap around the space he could not reach and the other slipped beneath Naruto’s orange t-shirt, skimming over washboard abs and splaying fingers over a sweaty chest.  
  
Naruto hissed when Sasuke pinched and twisted one of his nipples, then rubbed his thumb over the nub in soothing circles. “Ah…hah God…Sas…” He looked down with one eye shut, mouth hanging open and breathing heavily, wondering if he’d ever seen anything as beautiful as this man with his dick between his lips.  
  
Sasuke continued circling the nipple and nearly pulled completely off the erection. He left the head in his mouth and probed it with his tongue, failing to suppress a grin when Naruto cried out and brought a hand up so he could bite down on his knuckles. Sasuke’s hand slowly climbed up Naruto’s shaft in one slow, sensual stroke, holding it in place as his tongue gave a quick swirl around the head and lapped up the bittersweet cum that had leaked out.  
  
Naruto let out a broken yell and yanked Sasuke up, stumbling with him back to the counter where he turned Sasuke around. In one swift movement, Sasuke’s boxers were pooled at his ankles and shaken off, leaving him in nothing but his sweater and apron. Naruto licked his lips and pressed a fingertip into his hole.  
  
Sasuke stiffened and turned half-way back, pushing Naruto’s arm away. “Now wait a minute, I was going to-“  
  
“Please Sasuke!” Naruto begged, practically sobbed into the back of his neck. Sasuke frowned as Naruto wrapped an arm around his shoulders and held him close, panting harshly against his ear. “I want it, Sasuke, God, I fucking _need_ it.” His words heated Sasuke’s skin, scorched it with their need. “I have to know what it’s like to feel you pulling me inside.” His fingernails dug into Sasuke’s shoulder, making him wince and hiss. Naruto groaned and bucked against the smaller man. “So deep…so _fucking_ deep that we’ll both be screaming until our throats are dry.”  
  
Sasuke felt his stomach tie into a million knots, but more from the excitement Naruto’s words ignited than anything else. He swallowed a lump that had formed in his throat and rolled his shoulders to get Naruto off, opening the cupboard in front of him. He cursed quietly when he found no lube substitution and looked to his side on the other side of the counter.  
  
There was half a stick of butter left from when he’d made the cookies.  
  
Sasuke shut the door and grabbed the butter, shoving it in Naruto’s hand. “You better make good on those words or this is the first and _last_ time your fucking dick will be anywhere _near_ my ass.”  
  
Naruto muffled a laugh into Sasuke’s neck and kissed it while smearing the butter over his hands.  
  
But when he placed two fingers at Sasuke’s entrance, they were smacked away. “Skip it,” Sasuke growled.  
  
Naruto blinked and frowned. “Are you su-“  
  
“ _Skip it_!” Sasuke hollered.  
  
Naruto flinched and did as he was told. He scraped up a bit more butter and rubbed both hands over his cock, coating it with a sharp intake of breath.  
  
Sasuke let out a heavy groan when he felt a push at his anus, the head of Naruto’s shaft spreading him slightly. “Fuck me,” He demanded in a breathy moan.  
  
Naruto worried over his lip as he kicked Sasuke’s foot to the side to spread his legs further and slowly pressed inside of him. He sighed deeply when Sasuke gasped and arched, sticking his ass out as Naruto was clenched and pulled deeper.  
  
Sasuke grumbled a curse and reached back to grip at Naruto’s hair, tugging the blond forward and resting his own head against the cupboard with heavy pants.  
  
Naruto’s eyes rolled back in pleasure when he finally filled his partner to the hilt. He reached down and hooked one arm under Sasuke’s knee, pulling it up and holding it there as he slid out the older man only to sink back in again.  
  
Sasuke’s fingers tightened in Naruto’s hair as his eyes screwed shut from the pleasured pain that tore through his body with each movement. His other hand was pressed against the counter, fingertips digging into the marble. “Stop being such a fucking _pussy_ ,” he spat, slamming himself down on Naruto.  
  
Naruto let out a startled gasp and reflexively ground up against Sasuke, forcing out a moan. The arm keeping Sasuke’s leg up moved in so he grabbed Sasuke’s side through the apron, his other hand wrapping around the other side and he started driving Sasuke onto his dick.  
  
Sasuke grunted repeatedly as Naruto thrust shallowly in and out of him, a drip of sweat trailing down his cheek from his temple. His hips rolled, and he breathed sharply when Naruto hit his prostate dead on, sending a jolt that sparked every nerve in his body to life.  
  
Naruto was panting harshly into Sasuke’s hair, his body nearly shivering from the onslaught of ecstasy this shrouding heat brought him. Sasuke was so indescribably tight and warm that Naruto actually tried to hold off his orgasm, not wanting the feeling to end.  
  
Sasuke’s hand, slick with sweat, slid a few inches up the counter, his hips pivoting back and forth in sync with Naruto’s. His blood was boiling. He wanted more. Harder, faster, Naruto was still being too fucking _careful_.  
  
Sasuke yanked at the blond by the hold he had on his hair, twisting the golden locks and receiving a yelp in response. “My mistake, Naruto,” he groaned out. “I thought you were actually _worth_ a good fuck.”  
  
Naruto’s eyes blazed. He forced Sasuke down on himself, keeping him from moving. “Snarky little bitch…be careful what you ask me for.”  
  
Sasuke let out a breathy chuckle, sweating profusely as he circled his ass over the erection nested inside of him. “I honestly don’t believe you can _give_ me what I’m asking for.” Sasuke suddenly shouted in both pain and bliss when Naruto abruptly jerked out and rammed back into him. He couldn’t even form a word before Naruto did it again, and again, until the man was slamming mercilessly in and out of him, the sound of sweaty skin smacking and slapping filling the small kitchen.  
  
Sasuke’s hips were pushed repeatedly into the counter, his forehead still pressed to the cupboard as pleasure ate away at the pain, making him shudder violently. “Yes, _yes_ ” he moaned. “Right _fucking_ there.”  
  
Naruto grunted with each hard thrust, his free hand coming up and under Sasuke’s chin to slip two fingers into his open mouth.  
  
Sasuke bucked back uncontrollably against Naruto, his tongue reflexively roving over the fingers in his mouth. His sweater was damp with sweat and plastered to his skin, and in the neurotic portion of his mind, he worried about the stains his dripping cock was leaving beneath his apron.  
  
Their bodies shifted and moved like the most natural thing in the world, like they’d done this a million times before. Nothing mattered right now, nothing but the searing heat and pleasure tearing through their veins, pulsing with their hearts and snatching their souls one hectic breath at a time.  
  
All of a sudden, Naruto stiffened, and he came with a stuttering breath, jerking Sasuke back by his leg and yanking his fingers out of his mouth so he could grip the counter with white knuckles.  
  
Sasuke let out a short yell, biting his lip as his orgasm spurted onto his apron and his sweater. His body felt heavy and drained, and he nearly fell when Naruto suddenly dropped his leg but managed to grab the counter with his free hand and tightened his grip on Naruto’s hair, making the blond wince.  
  
Naruto breathed heavily against Sasuke, his sweat-soaked shirt clinging to him in a bothersome embrace.  
  
They stood quietly; soft pants the only sound breaking the silence.  
  
Naruto swallowed thickly and turned Sasuke around, the brunet’s fingers finally slipping out of his hair. He stared at Sasuke, with his flushed face and parted lips, then chewed nervously on his own lip. “Say something,” he whispered.  
  
Sasuke frowned and raised an eyebrow. “Like what?”  
  
Naruto mirrored his frown and lifted a hand, trailing the back of his fingers along Sasuke’s cheek. “I dunno…” The hand fell to Sasuke’s waist, which he pulled in closer to himself. “Just…something.”  
  
Sasuke stared back at him, eyes flickering momentarily before he exhaled a deep sigh. “Uh…it was…hard for me, to leave…”  
  
Naruto tilted his head curiously with a crumpled brow.  
  
Sasuke stiffened, his eyes darting away from the blond. “The day I was in your shop…it was hard for me to leave…”  
  
Naruto gave him a completely blank expression before chuckling softly. Random, but he’d take it, anything to quell the awkward atmosphere. “Because of the ‘almost kiss?’” he asked.  
  
Sasuke smirked. “No. Because your ramen was so damn good, I wanted to stay and finish the rest of it. Though the kiss would have been a bonus.”  
  
Naruto blinked twice, surprised. He wrapped his arm around Sasuke’s waist and gave him a wide smile. “You’re not being sarcastic, are you?”  
  
Sasuke snorted and turned his head when Naruto tried to kiss him, so the blond caught his cheek instead. “You complimented me on my baking, so I don’t see why I shouldn’t be honest about your ramen. It was good.” He turned back and glared up at Naruto. “But if you ever tell anyone I said that, I swear to God I’ll deny it.”  
  
Naruto bit his lip to hold back a laugh; Sasuke looked too flustered to be taken seriously. He pressed his forehead to Sasuke’s and wound the apron around his other hand. “Have I told you that you look _extremely_ sexy in this?”  
  
Sasuke huffed and bumped his chest against Naruto’s, shoving him back slightly. “And if you ever tell anyone I bake, I won’t just deny it, I’ll fucking kill you.”  
  
Naruto did laugh this time, lightly. “All right…I’ve got a condition though.”  
  
Sasuke quirked a brow. “Really…and what might that be?”  
  
Naruto leaned down slightly and pressed his lips against Sasuke’s, then pulled away from the chaste kiss with a soft smack. “You only bake for me from now on.”  
  
Sasuke scoffed, “What a stupid request.” His lips spread into a slow smile. “You say that as if there was ever anyone else.”  
  


* * *

  
**One month later…**  
  
Jiraiya frowned at the folded letter in his hands, wondering why it hadn’t come in an envelope. He shrugged and opened it, eyes scrolling over the message written inside.  
  
 _Dear Uncle,  
  
You fat, sneaky, mean, old perverted bastard! You tricked me into buying that piece of shit house which really IS a piece of shit now because the guy who came to fumigate the place and clean up the shit that started spurting out of the shower-drain deemed it UNINHABITABLE!  
  
I’m living with my boyfriend next door now, which I’m really happy about, so I’m not going to sue your ass to get my money back like I had planned to.  
  
Count your fucking blessings,  
  
Your loving nephew  
  
PS: You suck._  
  
Jiraiya looked up from the letter. He looked down at his stomach. He looked up again.  
  
“….Fat?”  
  


* * *

  
Naruto smiled from ear to ear as Sasuke came out of the kitchen with a plate of fresh cookies, and of course, wearing his apron. He placed them on the table and sat across from Naruto.  
  
“God, I love you so fucking much.”  
  
Sasuke chuckled and nodded. “Same here.”  
  
“I was talking to the cookies, Sasuke.”  
  
Sasuke glowered when Naruto started waving a hand in front of his face, dismissing the comment. ”Kidding, kidding, you know I’m talking to you, baby.” He muffled a curse when an envelope suddenly flew (was thrown) straight at his face.  
  
Sasuke lowered his hand and closed his eyes. “That came for you today. And stop calling me that, dumbass, or I’ll bite your fucking tongue off.”  
  
Naruto grinned as he shredded the envelope and opened a folded piece of paper inside. “Is that a promise?”  
  
Sasuke smirked and opened his eyes, not answering as he gestured for Naruto to read the letter.  
  
Naruto smiled back at him and looked down.  
  
 _Dear loving nephew,  
  
I’m not fat. And I already spent all your money on strippers and booze anyway.  
  
Good luck with that dickwad next door, I never liked him.  
  
See how I used an ENVELOPE?  
  
Your dear uncle  
  
PS: And you blow…literally._  
  
Naruto squawked and crushed the paper with both hands. “That sleazy son of a bitch!” His scowl disappeared when the paper was plucked out of his hands and lips were suddenly pressed against his.  
  
Sasuke crumpled the paper and used that hand to pull Naruto by the back of his head for a deeper kiss, smiling when blue eyes fluttered shut. He moved away just enough to break the kiss, his fingers uncurling and dropping the crumpled paper so it bounced on the floor. “Relax, idiot,” he murmured against reddened lips. His grin matched Naruto’s as his other hand came between them, a familiar treat between his fingers.  
  
“Have a cookie.”


End file.
